“I’m the luckiest man alive, I’ve got such a good job.” What do people even mean when we say “they’ve got a good job.” Does it mean they’re being paid a high salary? Some of the most stressed out and unhappy people I know make a lot of money at a job. Does it mean they get along great with their co-workers? Yea they might until someone new comes along who completely changes the group dynamic. Is it low-stress, easy even? I doubt you’re deluding yourself with this type of thinking but just in case you needed a reminder:
Here are 10 reasons you’re job is a modern form of slavery.
1. You’re made to do things you hate – Nobody likes doing things they hate. Obviously we have to do things we hate in life to get anything done. Most of the time we should be doing things we like though.
2. You’re made to do things by someone you hate – You hate your boss. We know. You see his or her incompetency everyday and you wonder “how did this guy get where he is?” It’s especially humiliating as a grown man to have to be told to do certain tasks by someone else like you are a child and need to be constantly reminded. You’re smart enough to figure it out on your own but your boss wants you to feel like a one-armed, antisocial moron so that you keep coming back for more trivial tasks.
3. You don’t make enough money – No one ever makes enough money but especially when you work for someone else. That “paycheck” is calibrated to give you just enough incentive to keep working so you can barely cover your bills. When you work extra hard you hope for a raise or a bonus. Good luck with that. The most you’ll get is a pat on the shoulder “acknowledging all your hard work”. It’s a terrible cruel joke that no one lets you in on until you’re apart of the workforce. Slowly getting fatter and less motivated to do something better.
4. You’re coworkers are terrible – Oh god. Your coworkers are the worst. Well some are okay but don’t fool yourself into thinking that you have any “friends” there. You don’t. You hate them all and would rather spend your time hanging out with a wild gorilla. You suspect they talk about you behind your back and you’re probably right. People are pretty shitty in that way. They have nothing interesting going on in their own lives so they have to constantly be inventing some drama to make things more exciting.
5. It’s boring – “Work” is boring. Why? You’re always watching the clock slowly waiting for it to get to that magical number, 5. But hey, don’t rush out too soon. You don’t want to seem over-eager to leave because you want your boss to think that you’re willing to go the “extra-mile” like you said you would in your interview.
6. You have to come up with a lame excuse whenever you just don’t “feel” like going in – Ever wish that if you didn’t feel like doing something you could just not do it? Well you can with a job. The only requirement is that you come up with a really lame excuse. Usually it pertains to you being sick in one way or another but much more vague. You don’t want your boss to think you have the energy to come up with a good excuse. We all have our “off” days but we’re especially prone to have them when we’re doing something we hate, like “work”.
7. All the value you’ve created is gone and you get none of it back – You may feel like you’re doing the bare minimum but I know that you’re working hard. The system is designed to make you feel inadequate so you never try to go for anything more. In your reviews your hard work is noted. You know all the stories about working some place for 50 years and then being laid off. They don’t value your value. Remember that form you signed when you got hired? The things you create don’t even belong to you the moment you create them.
8. Nobody cares if you work long hours, in fact they want you to be mediocre – You work so hard for them. Occasionally they might toss you a nice little (note ‘little’) bonus or a raise to make you feel like a true “company man”. But its the equivalent of putting the carrot in front of the donkey/ass. I’ve seen people stay until 7:00 every night for months and the most they get is the occasional gift card. Bosses learn a very important rule early on. You don’t give raises. You give gifts. For some reason this works well with humans. We’d rather take a $25 gift card to starbucks than a percentage of the value that we’ve created for the company with our efforts. Well not really but this is what you’re telling your boss when you don’t do something about it and go create your own business.
9. Your taxes are carefully done for you, because you’re slow – Taxes are hard. Even the people that create taxes don’t understand the full system. There’s two things in life that are always certain though and that’s death and taxes. When you work a job your tax burden is always over calculated because they want to make sure the government gets enough money. God forbid they didn’t get enough money. We might have to start laying senators off (haha). They think you’re stupid so that’s why they handle your taxes for you. Long ago companies realized that when you put a person in a job they become stupid, unmotivated, fat, and lazy. They figured they’d help you out by taking care of the taxes for you. But that’s your money. If you can earn it you can take care of it. You’re not slow. Fight the power.
10. You have to do it until you become old and decrepit or die, whichever comes first – Now that we’ve covered all of the basics of why you’re job is like a form of slavery, some of you are probably thinking “well this isn’t really like slavery.” The only part you’re forgetting is that you have to do this job your entire life unless you decide to make a change. Most people never leave the “comfort” of their job. They always know when their next meal is coming, no matter how measly. They will stay because they want the stability. Then 40 years goes by and they realize that it was a huge waste of time and they’ve gained nothing.
So here are the reasons that your job is like a form of slavery. You’re probably wondering what you’re supposed to do with this information. Its simple, quit. But only quit after you have a “general” idea of what you’re going to do next. Use your off-time to start building something of your own. You don’t have to be a lazy unmotivated cow like the rest of them. You’re better than that. You’re reading this because you know that you want more out of life. You don’t just want to have a lot of money.